“A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.” – Paulo Coelho
Man is born with innate aspiration to create and invent, to assert himself and show the best he’s capable of. In childhood years, we can feel what our calling is with our hearts. There are numerous examples of young girls who are delighted to cut their dolls’ long hair, or of young boys who are set on becoming policemen once they grow up because they believe in justice. If this dream is not pursued, it tends to fade away and from passionate desire it turns into an almost imperceptible flutter of the heart until it settles to deep sleep in the child’s soul. So, the young child grows up, then starts school, and later takes a job. One of those nine-to-five jobs that pay the bills and that make you forget all about once wanting more from life. And sometimes the grown-up child has dreams of that previous calling, and starts feeling like an unhappy adult. Because he walks a different path, not the one he once craved. Why do things turn out this way? Let me tell you a story. Nikola is 14 and his dream is to go to the Olympics. Every morning he gets up at 5:30 and leaves for his swimming practice. Then he does his homework, goes to school and is back to the swimming pool until 8 p.m. This daily routine is well known by parents of child athletes, musicians, mathematicians and chess players. Ultimate focus and commitment. But what is the feedback Nikola gets from other people? “Why are you doing this?”; “It‘s impossible to make it to the Olympics, no matter what you do”; “It’s not worth it”. If Nikola decides to listen to his heart, he will persevere, because as he says, the mere thought of winning a medal in a global competition makes his heart beat faster. If he succumbs to other people’s advice, though, he will never get to know whether the tears in champions’ eyes are ones of joy and pride! You may wonder what keeps Nikola going in these difficult moments. Obviously, there’s passion; motivation is also strong. But critical in this respect is the relation with his parents and with his personal coach: a role model, a motivator and a mentor.
Many a children have no idea what they want to do in their lives. Our educational system forces young people who have the makings of musicians to study too much math and as a result they feel frustrated and with low self-esteem as far as the teaching content is concerned. Stephanie is 15 and she studies in a music school, in a folk singing class. She dislikes math, but once onstage, she glows with that special excitement that reveals her calling. She simply knows that music is her life and does her best to cope with everything in the name of singing. Our children need support to keep their dreams alive and become happy adults who fulfill those dreams. This support is to be found in honest conversations, in our attempts to understand their needs as much as we can, in trying to teach young people critical thinking and strength of mind, as well as empathy. This support is in the guidance we give our children on their professional growth and achievement. This support also implies looking for the most appropriate coaches, mentors and activities to help that growth. Because the earlier a child knows which dream makes his or her heart beat faster, the more time will be available to pursue it. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” These inspiring words are Mark Twain’s, the person who changed many professions before committing himself to literature and becoming a man of letters.
Do urge your children to have dreams and climb their own peaks! Help them out along the bumpy road leading to themselves and to discovering their calling. After all, the main role of parents is to give their children wings and let them fly away and assume responsibility for their own lives. But also be happy along the road.
